I recently looked in the mirror of my room with my glasses and I began to worry about fitting the costume. Having reached the age of 30, I also played with the seductive idea of buying a one-piece swimsuit for this season, at perfect aesthetic negationpure physical silence: if I hide my belly, it may no longer be there (the same law by which we are convinced that tights cover hair or that the base hides the mustache).
In the meantime, though, while I was living my very personal costume rehearsal psychodramaIt so happened that online Emma Marrone posted a photo of herself as a hot girl in a bikini, attributing her belly and pads. which objectively in the photos are not seen (but if you, Emma, claim to have them, I believe you, you know). Naturally many have massacred him and many have spoken out on the subject, from the Wild National to Mattarella, to Bergoglio. That it’s not right, that it’s not right, that there are those who really have it and it feels like they’re taking it for a walk, if you are great but you deny your calm. Sorry. It is not done. Learn the lesson and take it home, Emma.
After a while, but very soon, another image, from Clio MakeUp, goes viralhow happy, on the beach, without poses on the Max calendar, with the appearance of a normal holiday girl, free of belenismes several, praise the acceptance of the body itself. And all to idolize Clio because he shamelessly shows off his big thighs and the general softness of his shapes.
So I, who have lived the so-called body-shaming (I weighed 20 kg more) and still live it (because in any case it is not that now I am exactly Taylor Swift), I have a feeling of slight discomfort at both reactions. As if to say: we can see a photo and record only “woman at sea” (possibly happy, possibly relaxed) without necessarily having to point out (both those who post and those who comment) “fat / fake-fat / thin / too much thin / pole-dance-dancer by the sea? “.
We know that the same identical body, of the same weight, placed in different geographical areas, latitudes and times, would be perceived differently.
The fact is that culturally we are used to dressing our meat with obsession, in this butcher shop that is also a bit of a circus, in which the most popular number is constant confrontation, ruthless comment, morbid attention to the faults of others compared to one’s own.
And yes, in that order of thought, it’s unforgivable to post a pussy photo and prove yourself with some invisible fat. And it doesn’t matter that Emma did it to get a little on her hands, because maybe she, compared to the standards of the show, is less thin, doesn’t have that anorexic look. Fashion blogger with a slice of pizza in his hand so I make you believe I eat a lot of carbs; It doesn’t matter that fat – or rather, its perception – is also a cultural, contextual fact, and that Marrone probably felt – I imagine – countless times considered by stylists as a cow because it was not a size 38.
After all, we now know that the same identical body, of the same weight, located in different geographical areas, latitudes and times, would be perceived differently. (and not only do we mean that today Marilyn Monroe would also do the paturnie for the bikini fit, but also that weighing 75 kg in Palermo is not like weighing 75 kg in Milanor that being a size 46 if you’re a wallet isn’t like being a size 46 if you’re a program woman).
I, who have experienced so-called bodily shame, wonder what the right balance is between “accepted as you are” and “committed to improvement” but most of all, I wonder if we will ever be able to change the “body culture” and everything that gravitates around it
Now, it’s not my intention to justify lean being defined as fat, which is one of those things that kills real chitem fat (a bit like the ones they said at school they hadn’t studied and then n ’ they had done 9), but I would also like to remind you that you who kill Brown and idolize Clio, you are probably the same ones who click on all those dirty photo galleries of which we learn that Scarlett Johansson also has orange peel, and Laetitia Casta also has the inside of her thigh moved , and Beyoncé also has a big ass. You’re probably the same people who count the cellulite holes in your friends ’buttocks and the amount of stretch marks on your thighs. So, women, what sense does it make?
I, who have experienced so-called bodily shame, wonder what the right balance is between “accepted as you are” and “committed to improvement” but most of all, I wonder if we will ever be able to change the “body culture” and everything that gravitates around it.
I wonder if we will ever be able to understand that the body is not (just) a trophy to be exhibited, or a defect to be hidden, but something else. That our body belongs to us, that taking care of it and improving it is a duty we have when it comes to health (that’s why we have to eat well or do sports, for health, not for the swimsuit test).
That bodies are different from each other and are not perfect. Let them age and this is natural, and although we begin to exaggerate with botox, to decoupage our skin, to implant prostheses in the buttocks and buttocks, to swell our lips until we can not even smile, all to bring -no to the vilified stereotype big tits-thin waist-ass-mandolin-lips-like-a-shock, the result is not beauty (a very overrated goal). And the hypocrisy we use on the subject of fat is the same as we use on aging, so we count the wrinkles that a woman in the program (as if they were the crimes of her criminal record) but instead we outraged -se when surgery disfigures her and makes her unrecognizable (if you think about it, it’s another big fetish of ours to look at the photos before and after).
If we start blowing our lips until we can’t even smile, all to get closer to the slandered stereotype of fat-breasts-waist-ass-thin-ass-mandolin-lips-suckers, the result is no beauty.
I wonder if we will ever understand that everywhere we go there will be more beautiful bodies and uglier bodies, younger and older, and that a body is just a body. And that the most important exercise to do, more than squats and more than abs, is to learn to feel good in that body that is there; that what is beautiful is neither too fat nor too thin (which are often unhealthy situations; and neither Emma looked too thin, nor Clio too fat); that being comfortable with your body is the most important goal (and there are beautiful women who still can’t be comfortable with your body). What makes us feminine, what makes us convey comfort, what makes us physically welcoming and attractive, if we want to be attractive.
This is what it means to change body culture – not to focus on body shame, but on body care. It is not shame, but care. This is a positive feeling: care inspires, shame depresses and represses, it ignores us, it makes us point the finger, it makes us judge and it makes us judge. Personally, I stopped being ashamed of my body (or rather, I am much less so) when I started taking care of my body. In consciousness, I repeat, that a body is a body. And women are so much more than bodies. And if we don’t remember it first, we end up being victims and even accomplices to the logic (and industry) of bodily shame. which is based on an ancient and subtle female trap: being the worst judges of ourselves.