How can the end of a relationship be processed?

the end of a relationship is able to stimulate the same brain areas responsible for the perception of physical pain, triggering intense psychophysical suffering. The solution is not to try to hide or eliminate the pain: rather you need to take a compassionate attitude towards yourself, avoid recursive behaviors and do something to “cure” every day such as following a balanced diet, doing constant physical activity and enjoying d ‘enjoyable activities, lean on the social network.


June 24, 2022
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last modified on 06/24/2022

A study conducted by the teacher Edward Smith from Columbia University stood out as the pain for the end of a relationship you stimulate the same brain areas deputies to the perception of pain physical. Therefore, this event can generate an intense psychophysical suffering.

The reason for this intensity is that humans are biologically and psychologically predisposed to build and maintain affective bonds. Whenever a relationship ends, the consequence is a certain degree of suffering whose intensity varies depending on the involvementfrom duration and of conscience with respect to the relationship.

However, the human being tries to avoid the pain and tends to implement the same mechanism even after the end of a relationship. What the person is not aware of, however, is that they perpetuate theavoidance (experiential) not only does it not solve the problem, but exposes it to waves of pain if these activities fail.

In this sense, it is useful that at the end of a relationship the person is able to assume an attitude of compassion towards himself. Remembering that the first months are the most difficult for the inevitable moments of discouragement, by I confusion.

To this end some people benefit from the techniques of put on the ground (use physical sensations to help the mind find balance). Others use meditation exercises conscience (develop an attitude without judging towards one’s own inner experiences). Still others find it effective write what they think and they try to do so in difficult times (writing helps to move away from thoughts and fosters the awareness that they are, in fact, thoughts).

At the end of a relationship, the trend is to examine past memories and events. This is to identify what has failed (rumination) or project yourself into the future in search of solutions (cave).

No strategy is inherently wrong. The problem arises when these strategies become involuntary, automatic, and recursive; that is, when they are structured vicious circles which aggravate the suffering.

A key step is, therefore, to become conscious from the moment one is kidnapped by these vicious circles. At this point it may be helpful to stop focusing on these thoughts and decide to devote specific and limited time to ruminating / cuiba at another time of day.

For example, say: “I’ll think about what went wrong in this afternoon’s report from 6:00 to 6:15 p.m., now I’m concentrating on what I’m doing.”

In addition, the person experiences a difficulty divert your mind of the relationship you just ended. Thoughts return repeatedly and in a seemingly uncontrollable way to the ex-partner. The mind seeks it recursively explanation in order to solve what he considers a “problem”: the end of the relationship.

With some imaginary scissors we try to cut the Because? “ from our thoughts. He “why did you leave me” it must become “He left me, I didn’t understand why reason but it’s a fact, now I have to think about what to do with my life “.

One of the hardest things to do at the end of a love is to avoid it contacts with the ex-partner. This is because as a result of these contacts, we attend one worsening of the emotional state and a worsening of mood.

It is clear that there are situations in which not having contact with the ex-partner is impossible, for example when there are gods. children or when the same workspace is shared. In these cases it is advisable to maintain the relationship at a level of mere exchange of information without giving in to the temptation to confront (again) the motives that led to the end of the relationship.

As we have said, the end of a relationship is an event that subjects the mind and body to an intense degree of Stress. In itself, the response to stress is not harmful to the body, but allows it to mobilize energies necessary to deal with the situation.

The problem arises if this response to stress lasts over time and does not tend to decrease. It’s important to ensure your body and mind have moments and activities that can turn off the stress response, even if only momentarily.

Let us consider ourselves convalescent, take care of us. We do something to heal every day: to maintain a balanced diet in terms of both quantity and quality foodacts constantly physical activity which allows to reduce states of anxietystress i depressionadopts a number of useful measures and procedures to promote the restdo enjoyable activities, lean on each other net social.

Don’t give up “the nail crushes the nail”, that is, the use of other people to fill that immense void left by the past relationship. Transition stories can be soothing in the short term, but unprocessed pain doesn’t allow us to become fully committed partners.

The end of a relationship requires one lifelong remodeling and therefore the term is used processing. This term identifies the process that leads the person to integrate new aspects of their life with what is left of the past, both practically and psychologically.

A therapeutic path can facilitate the unblocking of the situation and, thanks to the understanding of the internal and external dynamics that block the process, support the person in building a love life. us I compliant.

A graduate in clinical developmental psychology and neuropsychology, she deals with psychological support for people, couples and families with special attention more …

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