Money management for the couple

Joint or separate account? Problems with money in the couple often cause more than one headache. Let’s see what tips can be helpful in these cases.

Money management for the couple

Latest update: May 11, 2022

Money is often the subject of discussion and disagreement within many emotional relationships. It’s also amazing how sometimes each individual has a different perception of money. Managing money for the couple is, therefore, an aspect that should not be underestimated.

From the point of view of economic psychology, they point out that the vision we have for the economic aspect is inherited from the family. Patterns of spending and saving behavior are often repeated between parents and children. This means that sometimes when we start sharing life with another person, we find ourselves in unexpected situations.

Do we have a joint bank account? Is it better to have two separate accounts? These are certainly the most frequently asked questions. The truth is we should consider a number of financial issues before moving in together.

Strategies for managing money as a couple

There are many couples who are struggling with serious financial problems at this historic time. In general, however, life imposes many changes on us, and sometimes we face difficult times when we need to know how to act together.

It is not surprising, then, that psychology has been interested for decades in trying to understand these everyday situations of many families. Research conducted at the University of Wisconsin-Madison indicates that disagreements on economic issues are among the main reasons for fights in emotional relationships.

The American Psychiatric Association (APA) itself highlights a curious fact that needs to be considered. When you start a relationship, pay more attention to where you are in tune: hobbies, values, future projects, same experiences, etc.

Hardly anyone pays attention to the financial availability of the partner. It should be clarified: talking about economic aspects is not synonymous with superficiality or indiscretion. In short, it is a matter of understanding how to support a common project.

Therefore, a wise management of the money in the couple is fundamental and essential. Let’s find out together what we need to keep in mind.

Economic honesty – this is my current salary

When you have a relationship and you evaluate the possibility of going to live together, you have to do it Be honest about your financial situation and be clear about your salary. It is not an indiscretion, but it is clear whether they will be able to afford to buy a home or other expenses.

Living together is more than eating, sleeping and living together. Having a relationship under one roof also means spending money together and that is why it is a priority to clarify the real economic situation of both.

“What do you think of the money?”

This is not a question called, let alone a trivial question. On the contrary, it is decisive. To better manage the economic aspect of the couple, it is necessary to know the point of view of the couple:

  • Would you rather save or spend?
  • What did your parents teach you about money?
  • Do you have a financial goal? Want to save for something specific?
  • Do you spend on impulse or do you think about your purchases?

Obviously, many of these aspects can be seen in everyday life, as the reality may be a little different from what they tell us.

What lifestyle will we maintain and how will we get the money?

A key aspect of money management in the couple is clarify what lifestyle you will want to lead. If the goal is to save to achieve a specific goal (buy a house, take a trip, etc.), the day to day of the relationship will be marked by savings to achieve the goal.

Both must agree on these goals and meet them equally. Otherwise, conflicts will certainly arise.

Individual autonomy, but the achievement of common goals

Economic abuse sometimes occurs in a romantic relationship. This means that only one of them controls the couple’s expenses. Also, in some cases, the other person doesn’t even have access to the account.

For the relationship to be happy and satisfying, both must have full autonomy in their accounts. There cannot be a single goalkeeper who decides for two.

You need to have full mutual trust knowing that you have a common goal; two responsible people engaged in the domestic economy.

Money management in pairs: joint or separate bank accounts?

One of the most frequently asked questions about managing money as a couple is: “Joint or separate bank account?“. On the economic side, many couples feel the need to differentiate between yours, mine and ours.

For this reason, it is customary to open individual personal accounts (as long as salary allows)plus a joint account for common expenses such as mortgage, apartment rental, electricity, water, internet, food, etc.

Equally important is reaching agreements on what is considered “joint spending.” While there are obviously more options, every couple needs to agree.

Life is a constant evolution, so your financial situation can change radically overnight. Despite this, it is decisive reach agreements and base the couple’s money management on trust and prudence.

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